Surviving the Family Holidays

As I have done in this season for several years, I advocate strongly, in advance of the upcoming holidays, that you do some forgiveness worksheets on members of your family.

As you no doubt have experienced on many such occasions in the past when family members come together, all the old buttons get pushed big time, sending you into a tailspin of hurt feelings judgments, defensive reactions and disillusionment.  

Doing a Radical Forgiveness worksheet in advance on the family members who can be relied upon to create disharmony and division will change the energy and make an enormous difference.  Not only will you not be triggered by all the barbs and thinly disguised criticisms, but it may well prevent them from even being expressed.

However, since this month’s theme focuses on the Radical Living tools, let me introduce another tool which you might find helpful in addition to the Radical Forgiveness worksheet as a way to prepare for the family ‘judge-fest.’ 

 This tool is called Radical Acceptance – A Worksheet for Seeing the Divinity in Any Human Being.  It is designed to help you accept someone just the way they are.  This is not always easy, so having a worksheet that uses the same spiritual technology as the other worksheets is a big help.  You can download it from www.ColinTipping.com under FREE STUFF.  Here are the steps:

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1. “I recognize that I am finding it difficult to accept ____________ as he/she is.  The problem I have with him or her is . . .   (Write in what it is.)

2. The main feelings I am experiencing within myself right now as I bring this person to mind are:  (Be honest and use feeling words.)

3. I honor my feelings and claim my right, as an awakened human being, to experience emotions and to be responsive to them.  I value them because they give me good feedback about how I am seeing this person   AGREE/DISAGREE (circle one.)

4. Even though I am not aware of what it might be, I am open to the possibility that this person is in my life for a reason and possibly is here to provide me a lesson or a healing opportunity.   AGREE/DISAGREE (circle one.)

5. I recognize that I may be using this person to not only create some fresh pain of separation within myself but also to leverage one or more similar instances of separation between myself and other important people in my life.  For example . . .

I am therefore recognizing this person, from whom I have withheld love and support and have judged, as a soul-mate on a mission to awaken me to the truth of who I truly am, who he/she is, and who those are from whom I have withheld love previously.  We are all part of the same Divine Essence.  AGREE/DISAGREE (circle one.)

6. I Even though I know there is no requirement that I like this individual as a human being, nor approve his/her behavior in human terms, I am now willing to see the light in him/her and to know that the person’s soul is Love, pure and simple and that he/she is, therefore, perfect in every way.  AGREE/DISAGREE (circle one.)

7. I am feeling a sense of Oneness with this person now and feel gratitude for this person being in my life.  AGREE/DISAGREE (circle one.)

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You might find this tool useful long after the holidays—for example, to use at a time when, say, some uncle, cousin or long-lost friend shows up and becomes objectionable.

Whether you do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet or a Radical Acceptance worksheet, you can be confident that you are initiating a shift in energy that can’t help but have positive effects.

If you’ve done a worksheet and seen a shift in one of your difficult family members as a result, please share your experience as a comment below.

Here’s to YOU having a happier holiday!
Blessings,

Colin
PS. I’ll soon be returning stateside. One of my earliest opportunities to connect with American friends will be at the “The Magic of Radical Forgiveness” workshop at the Kripalu Center. I especially enjoy this one because it is purely experiential and typically results in profound shifts for most if not all the participants. 

If you can make it to the Berkshires of western Massachusetts, JoAnn and I would love to see you. It might also make a great gift of peace for yourself at this hectic time of year. Here are the details:
The Magic of Radical Forgiveness
Friday and Saturday
November 30 to December 2, 2012
The Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

For more information and to register, click here:
The Magic of Radical Forgiveness