As JoAnn and I continue packing and getting ready for our move to a new house in mid February, I am reminded that the process is not unlike shifting to a new paradigm. Think about it.
Whether we like it or not, when we move house, we’re forced to go through every room and pull it apart, empty every cupboard and closet, and make decisions about what to keep and what to throw away.
But when we shift paradigms we have a tendency to forget that we need to do the same. We just sneak away leaving behind a lot of our old victim stories, painful memories and habits of being that reflect our old negative beliefs. We tuck them away in closets out of sight and well out of our (conscious) minds. A few things we might have taken out and given them a quick polish, but we just return them to the closet and forget about them again.
But are those stories dead? No, they fester still, and when the time is right, the old stories will ooze out of their box and re-infect our lives again, creating the same dramas over and over ad infinitum—unless we really clean out our emotional closet once and for all.
So, what old emotional baggage do you still have stashed away in your basement, that still hooks you back into the previous paradigm? Memories of being hurt, abused, betrayed and abandoned, perhaps? Or losses that you’ve never properly grieved; the abortion you still feel guilty about and so on?
Some of those items you might have polished up nicely with ‘spiritual bypass lotion’ and wrapped in flimsy old-style forgiveness wrapping; but like all the other stuff in that stinky old closet, it still owns you. I can’t tell you how many times people say to me, “Oh, I’ve done my work on that issue,” or “Yes, I’ve forgiven my father,” and then—when their buttons are pushed—regress right back into the same old story and relive the pain.
OK. So it’s too late for New Year Resolutions. But since Spring is on its way, how about you do some Spring cleaning? My new book, Expanding into Love will be out in April and it has a whole section in it on how to clear out all that old baggage associated with all those painful stories. Wouldn’t you like to be free of the pain and the bad memories? In fact, why not get a really good start by pre-ordering the book now. Not only will you get the book signed and inscribed, but it will get you 2 months free access into our new membership site — The Radical Living Online Community. There you can access some powerful tools that will supercharge your healing process in the meanwhile. For details and to order, click here: www.ExpandingInLove.com
Make the move now.
Blessings,
Colin
Hi Colin, you just mentioned exactly what I am experiencing at the moment. Concerning my mother, who I care for for 5 and a half years now, I can say, a lot of forgiveness work has been done (as a Tipping-coach I am a busy client myself!). There is more or less harmony in the house by now and my 90-year-old mother has become a healthy, nice elderly lady (which she never was, when I was a child).
Now my father who passed away 6 years ago, came “back” again. I honestly thought I said good-bye in peace. But universal spirit is clever. When my mother and I moved to the south of Germany 2 years ago we found a nice and friendly neighbourhood. But it only took some months for me to realize the problems with one neighbour, her three dogs and some cats.
As her dogs are willing to kill her cats, two of them moved to my house to be save.
One of those cats who stayed with her was attacked some days ago before my very eyes so that I ran to help my neighbour pull away the dogs and rescue the poor little cat.
I am afraid of dogs – but I respect them as god’s creatures. I am learning about myself that I have to be the pack leader (also as a teacher of thirty 14-year-old students). So in that situation my fear was gone. I only felt the need to protect the weak. To make a long story short: I got mad with my neighbour as she refuses to be the pack leader and accepts that “the male” (dogs) kill the female (cats). I know that she has got a sad topic with her father but denies it. And I know that my feelings show that I am projecting on her.
I did not want ot touch my relationship to my father any more. Now I guess I will have to.
Thanks Colin! So timely, as I’m in a major shift to be true to myself. Yet, every day my mind has had a tennis match… resisting change!!! At the same time, I’m confident that I’m making the right move and decided to stop listening to my mind and listen to my heart. This article is so right on!!!
‘been following your blogs and used the Lance Armstrong piece as a Table Topics question in Toastmasters last week. Lance is one of my son’s fallen heroes. You were spot on about his despicable behavior AND his reknown bringing widely and wildly to consciousness how the race to win and greed for everything spoils us all. Let’s not forget that.
I also found myself in moving mode today, and no accident this piece on shifting paradigms, rings all too true also. JUST after spending two weeks moving 12 years of accumulated ‘stuff’ out of my 93 year old mother’s retirement community home as she waffles to live, but I wouldn’t call it that, in assisted living; I returned home to be
given 60 days notice to leave the lovely rent controlled home I’ve lived in for 15 years, on the coast of California with views of 4000 acres of scrub oak and sand.
Somehow since the first of this year, I’ve found myself doing more service for others: a neighbor w a heart attack, a sister through surgery, my mother, than writing and speaking making my own ‘stories’ stimulus for others’ healing. Guess it’s time.
Thank you and JoAnn for the work you do in the world. I had the privilege of working with you at Omega Institute last summer, and since I have finished Invisible Grandparenting: Leave a Legacy of Love Whether you can be there or Not, and it won third in National Write Non-fiction in November’s contest. One agent wants me to edit ir into two books, I am ordering your book now, tho it will have to be forwarded to a new address as yet unknown: “this god and something better” we say with gratitude every day … and I’m still pitching you to Science of Mind magazine for a cover interview, I have an article in the upcoming May issue.
Forgive this if it’s beyond blog appropriate & stay in touch. Blessings PAT